Conversation In the College Basketball E.R.

Doctor! Doctor!
What is it son?
I think I broke my Spartan-pride bone!
Now, now, calm down. Let me have a look at you...
I'm in a lot of pain! All I can see when I close my eyes is Naymick and Suton crashing into each other, leaving Memphis a clear path to the basket.
Ok, I see. Well, I'm going to have to run some tests. Does it hurt when I say Drew Neitzel?
AHHH! YES! All I see is 2 of 8 for 6 points. Nothing but bricks and blocked shots.
My, my. What about when I say Memphis Tigers?
3-pointer, 3-pointer, dunk, easy layup, dunk, dunk, foul, 3-pointer, dunk.
MSU Spartan team?
30 point halftime deficit.
Well, this could be serious. How do you think MSU will do next year?
Well, we could be pretty good. Neitzel will be gone, but Lucas, Allen, and Summers have all shown a lot of promise, and if Raymar can keep out of foul trouble, he should have a great year.
Ok, and what do you think of Tom Izzo?
God. Now and Forever.
Well, I have some good news for you, you didn't break your Spartan pride. It's just a severe sprain.
Wow! That's a relief.
I want you to stay off of SportsCenter for a few days and drink plenty of the 2000 Championship run.
Thanks Doc, I appreciate the help.
You're welcome son, but now I have to go. The patient next-door is from Wisconsin and he just keeps mumbling "Davidson? Mother-fucking Davidson." over and over again...