Crazy (part 2)

I don't know why things happen the way that they do. I don't know why people are the way that they are. I don't know where my shoes are right now. They are probably under the bed, because that's where I usually put them, but I'm too lazy to check right now, plus I'm in the middle of typing. I'll look for them later. I guess there are a lot of things I don't know. I don't know why I try to know things that most people don't know. Things that most people don't really want to know. I don't know why they don't want to know. I wish they did.

People always ask the wrong questions. What I mean is, they ask for knowledge that they don't really need. I get depressed when I hear people asking what time it is. Time is a human construction, there is no such thing as time. When people ask me for the time, I want to tell them that the time is Now. Now with a capital 'N.' Now is the only possible time for it to be. But what I actually tell them is 2:30. Well, I mean, assuming that it was 2:30 when they asked. If it was a different time, then that's what I told them.

Trees are more important than the forest. If you have to miss one for the other, miss the forest. Fuck the leaves though. Trees are as detailed as you need.

There are times when I wish I could turn off my brain. The insanity of my mind is never overwhelming, but a constant background noise. Except for sometimes when it does actually stop. Then I miss it. So I try to imagine crazy things so it will come back. But a rational mind cannot create irrationality. There is no such thing as random to a computer. Am I a psychotic computer? If I was a calculator, I would sometimes say that 2+2=5. Not because I think it's true, just because it would be fun.......I'm glad my calculator isn't like me.

I prefer abrupt non-sequiturs to logical proofs. Jokes are so predictable and boring. WEASEL!! Ha ha, the cereal eats the banana before I do! That's funny because it's true. And also insane.

When you really stop and think about it, everything seems different than when you weren't paying close attention. The world looks different at 100mph. But nobody really stops to think anymore. Because what if you were on the highway, and people just started slamming on their brakes every time they had an idea. That would be dangerous. Better to be safe and secure and unaware.

Ignorance is stupid. HA! Get it? Never mind. I'm trying to say that I would always rather know. If someone asked me if I wanted to see what infinity looked like, I would say yes. Even if it would destroy your mind and make you insane. Even if it was infinitesimal little bean-shaped red/blue things, I would say yes. Painful truth or comforting lie? I choose the pain. I try to anyway. But I think most people would choose the lie. It's easier. It feels good. It is known. That always makes me laugh, people who know what they know. I know better. I know that they don't know what they know, that the truth is just as much an unknown as the "known." You know? Me neither. So now you can laugh too.

What Would The Flying Spaghetti Monster Do? Believing in things is for atheists and boy scouts, and I used to be both. Accept the crazy. Embrace the chaos and the randomness and the complicated and the thousand shades of gray. Grey. Whatever. I can't help but search for meaning in the insane. The harder I look, the harder it is to keep looking. My mind is slipping, the edges are blurring. It's a little scary, but intensely interesting. I'm fascinated by the craziness of my own mind. By craziness in general.