More Stream-of-Consciousness

crash landed in the middle of an ocean I walk on the desert of water into the orange horizon climb up over out into space and I can see the face of god in the stars but I am pulled back to earth after only a brief glimpse too brief although I am sure that even one more second would be my death as I fly over and around the whole world I see individual people larger than the mountains but only maybe three or four people exist in this world everyone gets his own hemisphere but there still isn't enough space the world keeps shrinking and the people keep growing until they are crowded onto a small platform and then nothing at all and I am gone too and then blackness

just stop just stop just stop but I can't stop the flow is too much images and flashes explode in my mind and leave me no choice but to let them escape the prison of my consciousness onto this empty white space but even this page is a prison for ideas written down becomes permanent becomes locked in committed and will be forever the same green leaf explosion behind me yellow flash of sun in my eyes blinding sensations and color reach me before I can interpret their meaning and truthfully I am glad of it hard to know anything about anything when there are no words to describe it meaning has lost its meaning and all ideas merge into unintelligible goo a grey sludge of mud and I am there in waist-high rubber boots trudging slowly through head high moving slowly almost trapped by the slime but I seem to not even notice its existence my eyes are focused on a different target a higher goal I climb out of the sewer onto the street and get the first chance of my entire life to walk without restriction and I am immediately hit by an oncoming taxi cab legs are broken I am crawling across the street to the sidewalk I am aware that there is screaming and honking and lots of noise but can hear none of it still working my way toward a target oblivious to the environment around me my target is back to the sewer I open the manhole cover and crawl onto the ladder but do not descend stuck between a high world and a low world and both choices are unacceptable but my arms are getting tired and I fall asleep without a decision

pounding in my ears too loud keep running until the blood surges into the legs and the aching contentment of movement is worth the price of avoiding the landscape before my eyes mirage of a mirage is truth but truth unbelieved is equal to lies when I cannot believe anything I see everything is false nothing is real nothing exists even this cannot be true magnificent paradox of life and logic green says the wind and the cold window defends me from the onslaught of cheerful sunshine and goodness I am not against the good only against the good coming after me let me be alone and heathen native american indians were and are happier than christians can ever be church banners floating over pews purple cloth lands before I can catch it failure in the eyes of many but not in mine I see no failure in the eyes of god and so I can sleep easy in the midst of hate knowing knowing knowing and knowing